Perceptional Fog

per·cep·tion: the process of using the senses to acquire information about the surrounding environment or situation.
fog: a state of confusion or lack of clarity

[Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.]

Yesterday, I watched the weather news on Hurricane Gustav which was headed for New Orleans. At that moment, the storm is 305 miles away from Louisiana landfall. It has winds currently of 115 miles per hour with gusts up to 140mph. Mandatory evacuations were underway and seemed impressively organized. It is just hard to perceive what that must have been like. What would I take if asked to evacuate? Where would I go? How would I feel? And why do some folks stay behind?

Then there are the recent and current political party conventions and campaigns. These are politicians. They live on persuasive speech technique, among other things. It is also hard to perceive who is speaking truthfully, speaking accurately. Tonight Fred Thompson, at the Republican Convention, quoted a piece of something Obama said, but Thompson linked it to the wrong part of the issue. I know this because I actually heard the full context when Obama spoke the words in a prior interview. This evening, Thompson spoke it out of context and it was misleading and wrong, yet everyone in the room cheered wildly. It makes me question everything said about someone by the other party...either party. So perceptions are challenging. I'm in a bit of a fog processing reality through my perceptions in understanding the impact of a hurricane on human life and in understanding the good, the bad, and the ugly of candidates.

Vice Presidents, Evangelicals, and Campaigns

Just a few comments on election years. Some parts of this privilege of electing government leaders amuse me. Others annoy me. The party conventions are right around the corner. I am amused at the game "Guess the Vice Presidential Candidate," similar in some ways to "Deal or No Deal," a popular TV show I've watched maybe once. I'm annoyed by the mystical formula for picking a VP running mate: who will pull in the votes of the people currently disinterested in the presidential candidate, who will offend less people, who is from a big state with lots of votes. What does a VP do? Help out in the Senate, and replace the President in times of demise. So this choice, for me, will impact who I vote for in November. When people say, "Do you know who you are voting for?" at this point, I tell them no because I haven't seen the VP candidates yet nor have I seen party platforms or final positions on my pet issues: poverty (which includes the economy) and justice (which includes the war with Iraq) issues.

Today, both McCain and Obama are being interviewed by Rick Warren at Saddleback Church. I have deep respect for Rick Warren for his authentic journey of faith. It has been somewhere between amusing and annoying to hear what reporters are saying in anticipation of this event. Some news views I've heard show how so out of touch the news writers have been with "evangelicals." Whose fault is that? Evangelicals? News writers? I don't know. And that further reminds me to be cautious when reporters speak about any people group in general terms, which mainstream media seems to report with more spin and gossip as time goes by. I so appreciate those who come close to the fair reporting -- no, not Fox. Today on NPR with Scott Simon, the reporter did a great job of explaining the event without disparaging the main audience. I think Rick Warren will do an honest job of questioning the candidates on issues that are big on my mind. And that is not necessarily positions on gay marriage and abortion for me. It is bigger things. I hope we can just tell who is giving an honest answer. That's tough to do. I can't wait to watch the interviews and then to hear news coverage over the next day or so.

Campaigns -- the ads, the phone messages, the name calling, the magnifying lens on the weakness of each human, on and on...but only to November. It does get tiring. Once, as an intern for a state assembly, I decided to become an Independent because I'd been embarrassed by the behavior of Representatives from both parties. I still enjoy the status of an Independent for that reason. And this year, more than many, those Independent voters will be sought after as the big unknown. Power to the people - right on! Thank the Lord for true freedom and for just a few more months of this!

Still Walking...

I just returned from my 30-minute walk. Today I walked right around noon due to other scheduling limits. The temperature was about 80 and humidity around 50%, so it felt steamy, yet not oppressive for me since I was raised in the Midwest. I went mostly uphill today, except for when I came back, which would involve downhill. Yes, many admire my grasp of the obvious. Anyway, my legs felt strong, I got sweaty, my face turned red, and I had a very good time. I walked up to a point with quite a veiw of the valley and where the Los Angeles sky line would make a stunning impression on a clear day, but that was not today. This is my 12th week of my new walking plan. It is a simple plan:

Walk 30 minutes a day five days a week by the time you fall into bed at night.

That's the extent of the rules. It is really working for me. I randomly walk with friends, because I noticed the planning to coordinate that can be a road block. I don't plan a regular time to walk each day because I do not have a life with that much steadiness. I don't count steps or distance because I've found that to be too much math for me. The flexibility of going 30 minutes means now that I'm walking a little stronger, I'm going farther and that's all I know -- not other details, data, or measurement. It also allows me to take it easier on "those days." You know those days. Those days when the motivation tank is on "E" and the scheduled commitments tank is full. On those days, I just get up and go, and do what I can for 30 minutes, rewarded by the exercise of discipline, if not the exercise.

Some other beautiful things about the 30-minute walk is ease of preparation and lack of equipment needed -- throw on good socks and shoes and I'm heding out the door. No Lycra padded shorts, no set of clubs, no pool, no muscle-rocker-energy-shocker machines, no gas to drive somewhere. I do carry my cell phone for time keeping purposes and in case of emergencies, like the time I walked too far, but didn't know it until I was half-way back and called for a ride. Wimp, shall we say.

Plus, I feel way better. Being in my 50's had started to be a negative thing, but I've discovered that was largely due to major physical inactivity (thankfully we have a two story home and my office is upstairs!). So I feel younger, more confident, and less fearful of degenerating.

The best part is being outdoors with time to pray, think, reflect, and even greet others out in the community. I've recently decided prayer is just the formal word for conversation with God, though I'm the one doing all the talking. That wouldn't surprise my husband. And I'm not talking out loud like I have a cell phone ear piece or a person we make take as crazy. Just in my head and probably heart. But it is 30 minutes carved out for alone time with my focus on the Lord and what I'm learning about following Him and loving others. I am thankful for shoes and a good neighborhood for walking.

Clever C.S. Lewis

I've been reading The Chronicles of Narnia in the order of the story, not published order. I just finished The Silver Chair and have only The Last Battle to go. I am really enjoying the stories, the allegory, and the wit and charm of C.S. Lewis revealed in the writing. For example, he relates what happened to the leader of the school ("who was, by the way, a woman") after she began behaving like a crazy person when she encountered Aslan, Eustace, Jill, and Prince Caspian upon their appearance back in England at the end of the story. It goes like this:

"After that, the Head's friends saw that the Head was no use as a Head, so they got her made an Inspector to interfere with other Heads. And when they found she wasn't much good even at that, they got her into Parliament where she lived happily ever after."

I found this amusing, for the progression from crazy behavior to a promotion within the school system to landing in Parliament -- government leader, all the while being deemed less skilled for such positions, seemed humorous and perhaps a reflection on views towards government officials, or perhaps just some good natured satire. The part where "she lived happily ever after" -- the classic fairy tale ending used with time in Parliament was funny to me, too.

Interesting TV

After a day of March madness -- the upsets & drama of NCAA men's basketball tournament games, I was looking for other things to watch. I spent an hour on PBS learning about brain plasticity and brain fitness. I love learning about learning. Anyway, then I passed right by "The Ten Commandments" (yes, it is Easter weekend) and landed on The History Channel for "Protestant Reformation," which lasted to midnight. Not the Reformation, but the program.

Always eager, at least for the recent years, to hear and learn more about how faith and religion twist throughout world history, I watched this program and found it intriguing. That made for a wild Saturday night of viewing -- history does have it's wildness. The interviews and information connected many parts of current life -- in church and business -- to the Protestant Reformation. I've spent this morning reading my notes again and doing more research. I find it all fascinating and more extensive than I recall from earlier history lessons in high school and college. Age comes with a sort of enlightenment, perhaps. That's fun for me, but probably gets me scratched right off some party invitations. Maybe I'd lose some weight on a Diet of Worms.

Expression

"Law alone cannot secure freedom of expression; in order that every man present his views without penalty there must be a spirit of tolerance in the entire population."

Albert Einstein

Immigration

Hot topic these days. My friend from college just asked me what I thought about illegal immigration, since I live in California and that state seems to be more impacted than upstate New York, where my friend lives. I struggled to answer. That is just it. I have no answer -- no solution. I do have some basic beliefs that include:

1. Belief in human dignity for all people created in God's image.
2. Curiosity about the value of political boundaries, and the concept of "illegal" in this context.
   
3. Acceptance that resources to care for all people are limited under the current structures (health care, education, housing, etc.)
4. People who truely behave badly, such as truely guilty felons, need to return to their country of origin.
5. Myths surrounding immigrants carry too much power and inaccurate information.
6. Inconsistencies in who is welcome, who is not, and who we choose to go "help" in the world.
7. Anytime a people group is targeted as a problem, that is a dangerous sign.
8. What about welfare abuse by American citizens?

So, as often happens, the more I think about some issues, the more questions I have.

A Night Devoid of Stars

Said so well...

"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through the violence you murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate.... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

I war internally against war. I do support the troops -- but what does that really mean? I want them home safely. I thank them for their service. It is more complicated than that. There is a national deficit, economic struggles, and yet war is a financial priority in the U.S. budget. Forecasts of finances needed to proceed with the war in Iraq are staggering. The whole thing is troubling.

And as a side note, waterboarding is just plain wrong.

Presidential Campaign Innovation

I feel frustrated (slightly; why give too much emotion to all this) that the candidates for president with less money can't fairly compete in the campaigning that goes on during pre-primary season. It doesn't seem very democratic. So only the rich can be president? That's not so noble. I have three suggestions:

1. Give each candidate or perhaps the first seven to apply to run the same wallet with an ATM card and the same amount of funds deposited. Then, say, "Go!" Sit back and watch and see what each accomplishes with the fund.
2. Permit each candidate to raise money. Then proclaim the one with the most money president. The end. Do we let them contribute their own money? That would have to be decided.
3. If we agree on #2, here is a twist I really like. Take all the funds raised and contribute to organizations that combat world poverty and/or the global AIDS crisis. And go home feeling good about America. Like MEDA...Mennonite Economic Development Association. Wouldn't that be grand?!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4QExbeBc30
   

That's it from me. Happy Super Tuesday everyone!

The Grinch On Christmas

I just came across this quote from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." I like it, so I'll blog it here.

"Maybe Christmas he thought doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more."

I recently asked my husband what he enjoyed about Christmas this year. He said, "No presents." I have to agree with him. Due to our strict spending limits for Christmas 2007, we did not buy gifts. I made a calendar for my mom and gave my dad a 1 year subscription to "Cookies By Mail" for six shipments of home-baked cookies randomly throughout the year. I made that up, and I'll bake and ship cookies to him. Glen and I gave no new gifts to each other. For other family, we made fudge and gave them that with some other little items. I enjoyed making the fudge -- something sweet to enjoy.

I did not miss the following things connected to gift giving: going to the malls/congested retail areas, fighting for parking spots, rushing to wrap everything, waiting in line, trying to guess what would be meaningful to someone on for the limited amount of money to spend, and the stress on time and money. I did hear others complain and I thought I wonder why they play the game when it is more of a hassle than blessing.

I now prefer to give money to a reputable charity for a goat for a family in poverty somewhere in the world. In fact, we were honored by others who donated on our behalf to support those fighting poverty in the world. That is very meaningful!

We did give our youngest nephew his annual $20 disguised in a coloring book. That is traditional fun. He graduates from high school in June 2009, so this will continue one more Christmas. Once the boys are out of high school, the gifting stops.

I recently saw a WalMart commercial with a little boy in a car going to WalMart to "spend" the gift card he got. It was a cozy, comforting tone to the commercial. However, it bothered me. A sense of peace, comfort, and love are not really found in material goods and consumer spending. This add was misleading. I found peace, comfort, and love in sharing time with loved ones (friends and family) and enjoying good food throughout the holidays. Simple and satisfying. Lesson learned.

Spinning the Gray

I am not referring to our current weather - the hat-trick of rain...three storms coming through in the next few days. Today, I decided to spin the gray, my gray -- my way. It is election season and all that, so spinning is in the air. And so are my gray hairs. I'm turning gray, more so each day. I'm 52 and a half, so it is age appropriate behavior. So far, I am uninterested in coloring my hair. Getting in the habit of flossing daily was enough trouble. If I had to manage my roots (and I'm not taking about getting in touch with my inner-child or doing a genealogy), I can't imagine how adding one more thing to the "to do" list would add to my happiness. Not to mention the cost. Maybe it is only $5 a bottle once a month for 10 years or so. That's about $600 I'd rather do other things with like three annual passports to Disneyland or donate to charity.

So, I'm going gray with pride. Standing tall. And taking two steps along the way:
1. I'm going to create a new version of a familiar cliche to say, "Gray is the new blonde." That's positive. Maybe I'll start gray jokes. Or start a publicity campaign about grays having more fun.

2. I'm going to spin it so that I no longer have gray hair...but silver hair. That can now be politically correct. Silver is so much more lovely. Ban the label gray hair!

I love this proverb: “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” [Proverbs 16:31]

And I just read this on another blog “The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.” C.S. Lewis said this. Brilliant.

My culture says aging is not good. I love being counter cultural.

So You Believe In God?

Why?

Sometimes I pose this question to myself, as if I were in a conversation with a friend who had no perspective of the Almighty. Perhaps an athiest, an agnocstic, or an undecided -- as if they wanted to know who I would be voting for in eternity. These conversations are few and far between for some reason.

Today, driving along, musing about my answer to the topic question, I came up with my latest response. It is a good one, I think. Because it is a big idea. I like to avoid using Scripture (did you just gasp in horror or did someone burp?) in my answers to this question. I also like to avoid cliche or box lunch type answers all contained and packaged. So, this answer is one I'm chewing on right now.

Why do I believe in God? Forgiveness. How could that be imitated? How could that be innate? Natural? That is whole-hearted, life-giving evidence of God to me. When hearts soften and then are empowered to forgive another, freedom for the forgiver is often transforming. Sometimes, relationships are healed in time. People grow in capacity and are sometimes able to sincerely forgive someone's criminal behavior toward them. There is no rest nor satisfaction in revenge or unforgiveness.

Forgiveness is a mystical, intangible powerful dynamic. Yet there is tangible evidence of it in action that cannot be denied. That mirrors the presence of God for me in undeniable terms.

For those of us who believe, Christ is the ultimate example of the power of forgiveness. He offered forgiveness of sin to reconcile us to the loving, just God. It ties together for me, yet I may or may not bring our salvation in Christ into a conversation about why I believe in God. And sin -- another topic for discussion, but not today.

Forgiving -- the force that shows me God. And forgetting? Well, that's different.

Fire

This has been a weird week. I cannot believe how many fires burned in Southern California and how many people had to evacuate. We were fine, but it still makes you think about what you would grab if you had to go in a hurry. The fires were not close to our home, yet I had a runny nose off and on and a raspy throat now and then as a result of the smoke and particulate matter floating in the air. I was outside for an hour Monday night, and when I got home, my clothes smelled smokey. That was odd. The smell in the air was like a campfire smell. The sky over our house was clear for a day or so, and then it got slightly cloudy -- but not clouds, smoke. The fires were 45 minutes to 2 hours drivetime from us, and yet we still had signs of the smoldering. That was interesting, especially since where I grew up didn't have to deal with this. We do live near foothills, though, and they are very dry. Makes us grateful for every safe day. Now the air doesn't smell smokey, but there is a very fine dusting of ash on our cars, which floated from who knows where all the way to our community. Another reminder of the reality of the burning.

All Different

I was just reflecting on our differences and the positive impact that has on the world. The other day, we watched my 16-year-0ld mountain goat nephew cycle down a mountain road. I was terrified just riding in the truck with Glen driving. [No offense Glen -- you didn't scare me. The curves on a cliff did.] I thought there is NO WAY I could ride my bike that far on that kind of a incline (decline?) with curves, cliffs, blind corners, and lack of shoulders and bumper pads. I really admired his fortitude to do all that in such a determined, yet relaxed manner. I was impressed. Then I got to thinking, there are probably things I do that he would never want to do. Perhaps, teaching a class of fourth graders or being an assistant principal at a middle school. I had that same determined, yet relaxed attitude. So, I'm just glad for all the different skills, talents, and gifts people in my life have. As the song says, "What a wonderful world." And great loved ones -- friends and family -- with which to share the road of life.

Gift of Travel

My sister-in-law recently came for a visit and brought her 4 year old granddaughter along. A big trip like this had its challenges for both of them, especially considering they drove over 6 hours to get here. It caused me to reflect on how much I gained from all the road trips my family took over a childhood of summers. Of course, I didn't think of it at the time, but it gave me many advantages. Learning to get along in a car for long drives, getting out of town, seeing all the sights of places new to me, trying new things, stopping to eat and select what I wanted, staying overnight in unfamiliar circumstances, living out of a suitcase, staying busy in the car, and the luxury of uninterrupted conversations. As an adult, I LOVE to travel. Maybe this is where it began -- family driving trips over summer vacation. Quite a gift my parents gave me! Perhaps they never saw it that way.

Studio 60 -- Rumor Has It

I will watch the next episode of Studio 60 in 10 minutes. I just finished reading some blogs on the show that aired in other time zones already. Now I know this is the last episode. Now I know it wraps up a lot, but rather quickly. Now I know it is coming out on DVD. I already knew the cast was an amazing ensemble, the banter was intelligent and witty, and the characters compelling. I also knew the topics ran the range from humorous to deeply touching and/or troubling. I really enjoyed it, though it was on too late for this working woman. I miss West Wing. Studio 60 inspired hope for engaging TV, but it struggled. I'm not versed enough in the industry to interpret that. All I know is that I really enjoyed it, and TV viewing is less interesting than ever for me now. Good thing I love to read. Good-bye for now Studio 60. I'll consider getting the DVD.

Cheap Talk -- Costly Consequences

It is destroying community in my mind. It is lowering our levels of connection. It is often hurtful and cheap...though costly at the same time. I'm talking about the level of bashing others, especially public figures, with disrespectful words. Sometimes it is humor at the expense of someone else. It is dragging someone down with verbal weapons of destruction. All of a sudden, I'm acutely aware of it and becoming more sensitive to it.

I think the Paris Hilton and jail event brought it to my attention. The amount of sarcastic remarks about this situation is staggering. Though I am not a Hilton fan, I was actually outraged on Miss Hilton's behalf by the insulting and gross comments made be a female comedian hosting an awards show on TV the other night. The level of vulgar disrespect cannot possibly be considered humor, but evidently it was.

Hillary Clinton bashing is also aggressively prominent among the people who might be labeled Christian conservatives. I am tired of the snide remarks and forwarded e-mails degrading her. And I actually would like to have lunch with her someday. I think she is intelligent, articulate, and has good ideas on how the world works. Does putting her down some how secure some sort of moral safety or something for some people?

So, I've had enough. Often I don't respect certain choices made by certain famous people, as if I have the truth on what happened as represented by reporters. But, as a stranger to them, what business do I have putting them down in my random conversations? I am studying Scripture and examining the life of Christ. To tell you the bold truth, I can't find that kind of treatment to people others deemed unworthy of association. He was very direct with religious leaders.

I have become increasingly aware of community founded on relationships or caring, and how essential this is to growing. I'm working to reform my words, so that I do not participate in people bashing. Shutting up or deleting certain e-mails before reading is the easy job. Calling people on it is another issue. I've not gotten to that point, yet. That feels uncomfortable. Words are so powerful. Community of caring people is our hope and Christ's design, if you ask me. I'm learning a big lesson about this. I'm still learning. Sweet speech that is sincere on behalf of fellow humans is my goal.

Backyard Inspiration

I love our backyard. It is a mini-park in my urban world. It is a place of solitude and refuge or a gathering place for enjoying good friends and good food. Big trees surround it, a premium in some neighborhoods of Southern California. One tree is an avocado, and two others are orange trees. Delightful and a privilege to have those trees thriving.

I've decided to work on some landscaping. I'm designing a plan in my mind. I will consult my husband, who has a great head for solutions and practical steps, and he is very handy with many home projects. I will consider the two large dogs who have been known to eat a plant or two from time to time. I may even talk with a landscape design professional. I have a couple worthy recommendations. We need to paint the exterior of the house first.

I'm most excited about creating a fountain. I've been collecting ideas from various local fountains I like. I look forward to the beauty of the design, the soothing sound of falling water, and the possibility of cooling my feet on a hot day. I don't want a pool nor a jacuzzi -- just a beautiful fountain crafted from natural materials and perhaps some artsy tile. I want it to visually connect with the rest of the yard and the arts and crafts style of our 1915 home. Of course, I want to stay within our budget. I also want to enjoy the view of it from our den windows.

So, I'm sketching and taking photos, and pacing it out, and researching the project. That in itself has been rewarding. The processes of learning, growing, and creating something of beauty to share with others is a feast for my soul. I need an outlet like this project to get my mind off other clutter in the daily grind that I have no control over. I just ordered some books to study to further fine tune my ideas before I seek some construction bids. It's fun! When someone asks, like on the Actor's Studio, "What else would you like to try [as a career]?" I'd answer landscape architect or designer.

[Photo: Palm trees at shopping center near my home]

My Life My Dog

Well, I've compromised. I decided I wanted to let my dog on our sofa. For years, we have not permitted our animals on the furniture, with the exception of our bed on occasion. Now, the youngest gets on the sofa for a nap whenever he pleases. It is very cute to me and I delight in sitting there next to him for the evening. At first, I felt like as master I had slipped to an owner prone to spoil a pup. Other rules have stood firm. I just thought that I might really enjoy sitting next to him as he curls up next to me. I was right. It is sweet, cozy companionship. Life is short. Enjoy your dog!

Pirates of the Carribean #3

[Wow! It has been a long time since I blogged. Time flies.]

Not sure what was longer...the line to get in or the movie itself, but a small band of friends and I joined the herd gathered at the local theater for the first showing of the new Pirates movie. Our friends were in line two-hours ahead of showtime. We had bought tickets online the night before. We joined them in line about 45 minutes ahead of showtime. We were seated about 20 minutes after that. We were surrounded by a crowd largely younger than we are. Where do the other 50-somethings go for fun on a Thursday night? We were not, however, dressed in pirate garb as many were. I'm not that hard core of a fan. I just love a well-told rip-roaring story.

We sat in the back of the theater and relished the fact that no one would be kicking our seats. Previews lasted a while. Then the movie began and hooked me from the start with a mysterious and intriguing beginning, which appealed to my social justice side grabbing my emotions by the throat. And the wild ride continued from there in true Pirates tradition. It exceeded my expectations and I liked it better than #2. It was a creative, swashbuckling adventure with the fabulous return of all the main characters, the solid humor, the crazy twists and turns, and a decent amount of gross. What more could I ask for? And hooray for the women!

It was fun! I loved what they did with the edge of the world. I was surprised by certain events. Johnny Depp is still amazing at the character of Captain Jack Sparrow. The trip to Singapore added interest and dimension. I lost count of subplots and the pirates' code (which is just a guideline, really), but that did not spoil a thing. It just made me want to see it again. Oooooo and that Calypso. That is all I can say unless someone demands parley.

Now I've heard a critic hammer it as a bad movie. Well, he probably did not have many friends as a child. Maybe the movie breaks down in some ways for some people, but I enjoyed it. It was fun. And that is mostly why I go to the movies in these cases. Did I mention the special effects were special and effective?

I did think the movie was wrapping up about six different times, but no, another twist and off we go! That was OK. I stayed engaged. So, three hours later...preview, movie, and credits (stay to the end, of course)...we headed home, fell into bed, and I must have sword fought all night because I woke up tired.