Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Somewhere Between Hope and Heartache

I am feeling blue today. I have a big project due Thursday for my job, so that has me feeling edgy to begin with. Our dishwasher is not working, so that has me feeling inconvenienced and annoyed. We are headed toward the expense of repair or replacement. Ugh. My doggie, Ashley, is really slowing down in her recent senior days. She stumbled/fell yesterday and today due to poorly functioning hips. She seems to muddle through, but it is hard to watch. She does seem content, and often her normal self, and I am grateful. She is sleeping more and struggling, as she nears her final days (which could be near or a year or two away). So, I am mellow. My friend called to let us know our other friend, Tim (in his 40's), has entered the hospital in extreme pain. He has been battling colon cancer for about a year and a half. I was told he has several days to several weeks left. He has a wife and three girls (college age, high school, and junior high). So, I am sad. I am reminded again that life (for appliances, pets, and loved ones) has a cycle. I am reminded again to hold on lightly and treasure the good in each day. I am reminded yet again that letting go is hard. I am reminded that projects will get done, dishwashers don't really matter, and sharing life with a good dog and good friends for even a time makes me rich. Life risks pain, but it is worth it. Simply stated, I cling to the hope of Heaven, a promise that brings some peace.