I Feel the Need...The Need to Read

So much I want to read. Seriously, if I were independently wealthy, I'd work less, read more, and invite people over all the time to enjoy great food and great conversations about what we're reading and what we're learning and curious about as we all live out our stories.

Today, I want to read:
Cold Tangerine: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature in Everyday Life, by Shauna Nyquist
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller

And so many other books already on my shelf.

Today, I'm reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. Fascinating, engaging, stretching me head and how I view the world, curious, compelling, and fast reading. That makes reading fun. For me, anyway.

The new twist for me is slowing way down on buying books. We've downsized our living quarters to have more house to share with others, so book shelf space is now finite and owning more stuff has lost its appeal. We've had to give away many books, and that was actually difficult. Some with autographs even. Autographs were significant to us once upon at time. No longer. Makes it harder to part with stuff, and yet the meaning of an autograph tends to vaporize. Proof we met an author, yet no relationship came from that. So it lost its glitter, brought no life, and gathered the dust of celebrity chasing and some momentarily exciting and mildly validating experience.

So now I'm into the world of book swap. And the need to read.

Cars, Details, Moments, & God

Last night, about 9:30, while driving on the freeway, Glen announced, "We have lost power." At that moment, I basically sucked in most of the oxygen remaining in the vehicle and began holding my breath in the face of that overwhelming sense of "what do we do now?" Although I did not panic beyond the beginning signs of breath holding, my heart knew to trust God in this tangible moment of intervention, and I quietly acknowledged our need.

Glen then said, "We are coasting." Gulp. So, we coasted gently and quietly across two lanes of highway toward an exit which just happened to be available right there right then. And the lanes were open as we rolled off the freeway. We still had the electrical power -- lights, windows.

We continued coasting off the exit ramp to an intersection where the light had just turned green, right there right then. So we were able to avoid braking and continued on with the dying momentum of the silent car. We came to another intersection and the light turned green as we approached, right there right then. And our coasting momentum though slowing with every rotation of the tire, carried us through the intersection. Glen made an immediate right hand turn into the parking lot of a restaurant and then pressed on the brakes, ending the coast and ceasing the momentum, what was left of it.

Now there was time to think. We were out of traffic in a safe place. The restaurant was busy and the parking lot was well lit. Glen and our friend Craig, who had joined us for the evening, pushed the car into a parking spot and turned off the engine. It was great that Craig was right there right then to help push the car. I called the Auto Club.

One tow truck came, but did not have room for three people to ride, so he left. It was probably 30 minutes or so until a "crew cab" tow truck arrived, but our generous friend Sam showed up simultaneously. Craig and I rode with Sam back to Whittier. Glen and the car rode to the Whittier mechanic. Sam dropped us off at home, where Craig got his car to head home. Sam picked up Glen. Glen got home a little past 11:30pm.

Our car is paid for and vintage. It is a 1996. So almost any repair is better than buying another car. We will see what happened. Car is in the shop today, and my day's plans have been adjusted accordingly.

I would like to express thanks to God for being in the moment and handling the details with us. I was aware of His presence in my sense of calm in the crisis, and in my sense of anticipation that it would all be OK. I am grateful that I wasn't driving alone when this happened. I am grateful that we got off the freeway safely. I am grateful that we got to a safe parking spot safely. I am grateful that nothing was left that day, so we were not panicked to keep up with any schedule. I am grateful that we are able to maintain our Auto Club membership. I am grateful that Sam was able and willing to drive to Cerritos and shuttle us all back home. I am grateful that the towing bill was only about $35 for that distance. I am grateful that my work schedule today is more flexible than most days, so no car is not a stress factor. I am grateful that God is in the moment, in the details. Even with cars, He cares. Crisis can create an awareness of His involvement. God is live and active. Some days, I just pay more attention.

At church on Sunday night, we sang "Everything" by Tim Hughes. This song echoes in my heart this morning. I'd like to add another line, "God in my driving."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V0rgrt1nTM

Sentimentality, Splintered Wood, and a Wedding Gown

My wedding dress (circa 1992) is hanging on the wall. A splintered piece of wood, painted green, with the letter G on the side edge and the number 22 on top leans against that same wall. I set the board there near the dress, and thought to myself, "Guess which one I'm keeping." Made me smile. I am keeping the board. I am sending the dress to a thrift store.

My husband and I have decided to rent our second floor. These are challenging economic times for us, as is true for many, and that had the "when push comes to shove" effect this past December. In order to take some steps to creatively use what God has blessed us with to help us during this time, we want to share our resources to learn to live in community, walk in a more sustainable lifestyle, and potentially free up God's resources of time, space, money, and energy to better meet the needs of others near and far.

Glen and I moved into a large home with the heart intentions to share it. We've shared the home with our nephew, a single teacher I worked with, and a married couple remodeling their new home. We have always really enjoyed that, but we both work from home and got comfortable with the place to ourselves. It was nice having a guest room, and rooms for our offices. How often did we use the guest room? About once a year.

It was a pleasure to have the home all to ourselves for a while. I loved the view to the hills from my office window and the view of the sunsets and Los Angeles valley lights at night from the front of the house, not to mention the 4th of July fireworks in a distance.

Anyway, in December we decided to prepare to share our home again and clear out the upstairs in January to rent in February. It is February 4th, and our renters move in tomorrow. A young married couple with their first baby due in mid-March. He is in graduate school locally and they are originally from near San Francisco. Needless to say we are back in the saddle for sharing our home and starting a whole new adventure of sharing the home with a baby girl soon, too.

So the dress and the board are two items carried downstairs to make room for our future housemates. The board is actually one of my prized possessions. It is a broken end of a bench -- a wooden bleacher seat G22 from the bleacher outfield of Wrigley Field. It is old, since I'm sure the benches were replaced with fiberglass or something more modern soon after that game where I walked home with the seat. It had broken off somehow. I walked by, and claimed it for my very unique souvenir. I loved the Cubs back in the day. Third base side, upper deck, looking out toward that ivy covered outfield wall with Lake Michigan in the distance, sailboats blowing by, breeze blowing in, is one of my happy places. This bench piece carries major sentimental value and uniqueness. I loved living near Chicago and it remains my favorite city to this day.

I'll send the wedding dress on out the door. I highly treasure my marriage, but the dress, though I designed it myself and had a dear friend sew it, is only what I wore for the event. This bleacher is meaningful. My marriage is meaningful. The dress is not. Maybe I'll make a small bookshelf out of my bleacher someday.

My First Book, Perhaps

I am a writer. Sometimes I feel I was born to write. That is my sincere truth. Have I paid any bills or earned any portion of my living with my writing? Not many. Not exactly. Yet I haven't given up, though I continue to pay my way through life with other employment. There is some wisdom in that. My dream and efforts to become a published author lives on.

Yesterday, while sorting through some items in storage from my childhood. I came across a tiny little book. One and five eighths of an inch square to be specific. The title of the book is Mr. Worm Goes Swimming, and the inside cover states "By Cynthia Remington." That is me!

I wrote, illustrated, and self-published this book back in 1960's, while in my elementary school years no doubt. I wrote on index cards and trimmed them to that small size. I wrote the text on the lined side and drew and colored illustrations on the blank sides. This tiny book is twelve pages in length, has a simple, yet suspenseful, little plot line and pleasant resolution. My biggest struggle appears to be planning the cover and title page so that the entire word "Swimming" would fit neatly in the space given.

I was deeply touched yesterday when I discovered this work created as a child. I had no memory of it. It affirmed for me my great and long lasting interest in this creative art. Although I have not kept my interest in illustrating my work, I am still an avid doodler to this day.

For the technically minded, I did hand bind the book with one regular size staple.

This mini-book is a treasure and an inspiration.

Quite the Fume Over Brit Hume

I listened to and watched Brit Hume's comments about Tiger Woods. I felt it was transparent and kind, but then I'm an insider, so to speak. I also felt is was awkward in the context of the TV program where it occurred, but life is awkward sometimes. We need to grant each other grace. I was innocently surprised by quite the kerfuffle caused by the comments. Moments like this helps define who the haters are, I guess. By hater, I mean people who are quick to draw a line and lambaste someone without relationship or full context.

I prefer to respond out of kindness. I'll quote Rob Bell about being criticized, "Two words -- love wins." In context, Rob Bell means that he has to walk the loving path and respond in love to his critics. He also means when it comes to making a difference on earth, love will win, and we need to focus. So I need to respond out of love, which means I listen respectively and respectfully to the critics who are quite incensed regarding Hume's open thoughts as shared, and learn their perspectives to better love them. Those critics are also nailing my faith choice, so I need to take a breath and respond in love to them.

I read a Huffington Post article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-tahmincioglu/beware-the-brit-humes-in_b_415579.html

Even the headline for that post felt hostile. That writer had a strong negative reaction to Hume's comments, but seems to be doing what Hume is accused of in the article. The writer seemed to write from a bigoted point of view to me.

I read another article from Politics Daily: http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/01/08/fox-tiger-and-christianity-a-defense-of-brit-hume/

It was more balanced in my opinion. I suppose "balanced" means -- more agreeable to me, but all the same, I learned from it. I found it fascinating to read comments on Buddhism from Buddhist authorities. It even provided some background to how Brit Hume came to faith as an adult journalist in Washington, D.C. -- very touching to me. A great example of how the community of faith models love as Christ has loved us. I found that part very interesting. Here is an excerpt from that part in the Politics Daily article:

"Such a horror is not something you ever get over. But you have to go on, and Brit Hume was able to do so, by his own account, because of the people who reached out to him in God's name. Nearly 1,000 sympathy cards arrived, from strangers as well as friends.

'I read them all,' Hume told Christianity Today. 'My mailbox would be stuffed with them night after night. I'd weep over some of them. Some of them were prayer cards, some of them would tell me a tree had been planted somewhere. I felt that I was seeing the face of God. I felt people's support and love. To me it was a miracle. I've been trying to face up to the implications of believing in Christ and believing in God ever since.'

It only stands to reason, then, that out of this crucible, Brit Hume would want to share that miracle with others who are hurting -- with Tiger Woods, for example. And so, channeling Mother Teresa and not Tom Shales, Hume's first duty is to smile, as painful as that must be some days. His second duty, as he sees it, is to share the reason he's able to smile. So why would anyone begrudge him that?"

Kierkegaard - "Only A Rumor"

I read an article today by Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher of the 1800's. It is titled "Only a Rumor." I found the simple premise profound and engaging.

In response to Matthew 2:1-4, Kierkegaard states, "Although the scribes could explain where the Messiah should be born, they remained quite unperturbed in Jerusalem. They did not accompany the wise men to seek him. Similarly we may know the whole of Christianity, yet make no movement. The power that moved heaven and earth leaves us completely unmoved."

Kierkegaard continues, "What a difference! The three kings had only a rumor to go by. But it moved them to make that long journey. The scribes were much better informed, much better versed. They sat and studied the Scriptures like so many dons, but it did not make them move. Who had the more truth? The three kings who followed a rumor, or the scribes who remained sitting with all their knowledge?"

This provides a good launch to the new year. I need to seek, not just study. Seeking is active and implies movement. Off I go! The wise men had more than a rumor, according to Scripture. They also had a star to follow. I'll follow.

Why I Voted for Obama, Since You Asked

Someone graciously asked me why I voted for Obama. Here is my response:

I voted for Obama because his platform lined up with my views on more points than did McCain. I felt McCain would cater more to the rich and capitalism's dark side, though I respected his POW/Vietnam experience deeply. I also admired Obama's character, leadership style, transparency, and journey. I admire his family and appreciate his wife, which says something about the man. I acknowledge there is "spin" everywhere, so I can only go on face value. I was intrigued by how many people rallied around him, voted for the first time, and mobilized on his behalf. People I respect also voted for him and gave me good input.

However, from my perspective, how can I ever truly judge a politician equitably and authentically from this distance? I gotta go with my gut, listen to what lots of other thinkers are saying, compare platforms, pray, and then flip a coin. I had reservations. I would with any candidate.

I understand any campaign makes huge promises and any president has much less control and power once elected, so I don't go much on promises. Once in office, they get much more information, and get pulled by so many people. Not to mention, the process of American government is balanced and yet so complex. So, I am a "wait and see" voter. I, shallow as it sounds, end up simply voting for the one I like the best or fear the least after I do my research.

I still respect Obama. There is valid criticism. There is ill-informed criticism. It is WAY too soon to judge how he is doing. I get a kick out of the fact that there is a group of critical voices outraged that he won a Nobel Peace Prize because they feel he hasn't done anything. Yet that same group is outraged by what they credit him with doing. I know that is way oversimplified, and not a completely fair point, but it makes me smile.

I learned a big leadership lesson in my one year in school administration. As a leader, there are so many sides to any story, so many people with opinions who think you should please them first, and so much insight and information that comes your way as a leader that others are not privy to hearing. People you lead can never gain that much insight into why you do what you do. Yet people form opinions from a half-informed, subjective perspective, and get critical. That's just leadership. So, as a young administrator, I vowed to never criticize a leader from my limited perspective, knowing I don't have all the facts. I wait and see how things go long term, trusting God.

I trust God more than government. Most of us do. Obama is our president. I am learning how to show respect, since I saw how badly Bush was treated, regardless of my opinion. God blesses all nations. The U.S. may or may not be in the front of that line. God will work through our leaders, but that work may not look like we thought it would.

U2 Rose Bowl Concert

The U2 concert affected me in many ways. I'll share some impressions here. It has been over a month since my husband and I attended the U2 concert at the Rose Bowl, Pasadena. What a day! What an event! I am a U2 fan, both for the music and stories told, and for the power of celebrity used for good to change the world. However, I am not as extreme a fan as many I know and love are. In fact, I mentioned to Glen that I feared the U2 police might ask me to step outside as they noticed I was in violation of fan policy #1, #2, and #3. Definitely in violation of policy #4.

U2 Fan Policy
1. Must know all songs by heart and sing along.
2. Must stand the entire concert or a minimum of 95% of the time.
3. Must tip head back, close eyes, and sway in dreamy fantasy fashion for all slow songs performed.
4. Women: Must have some sort of rock star crush on Bono.

I was permitted to stay the entire concert, as it turned out. I was relieved. I actually do know more of the songs than I'd realized.

Other Impressions

• The crowd: Oh, my goodness! 96,000+! That is a massive group of people. U2 has all ages and stages of fans and the people watching was superb. In our section, there were people our age, kids, groups of women out for a night with wine glasses in hand, stoners, and a couple that had flown in from Hawaii. Men in groups, families, and couples. Friends from church were there. Although I did not know it at the time, co-workers and husbands were there, too. Other friends were there, too, though we only connected through text messages.
• More about the crowd: Navigating a crowd that size took some effort. We pulled into the stadium parking around 1:00pm, since the potential of traffic delays when you have to get approximately 32,000 cars off at a couple of exits and parked scared us into getting there early. There were food booths and entertainment -- music and NFL on big screens -- set up like a massive tailgating picnic prior to the concert. We didn't see any of that, though we did have our own picnic, while sitting in portable chairs we had brought. We relaxed and read and snacked the afternoon away. We also watched people complain at parking guys trying to get them parked in an orderly, functional fashion. May I never turn into a Parking Lot Princess!
  
• Even more about the crowd: We got to our entry gate before 5:00, since the gates were supposed to open at 5:00 for the 7:00 concert. We had to get in a long line. Gates opened about 5:30 or so and our line moved peacefully into the stadium, but I was tired of standing. We found our tunnel to get to our seats. I was really glad we'd eaten near our truck, because the people walking through the crowd with a tray of food in one hand and some beverage in the other really had to use some creative maneuvers to push through and not spill!
• Prices: The food, though it looked tasty and interesting, was expensive. Parking was $25 or more. And the tickets. Well, two and a half days of subbing for Glen paid for those. Well worth it. Many of the crowd looked the age that they'd probably had to hire babysitters, too -- another pricey addition to the evening budget. There were a lot of babysitters hired for the evening from the looks of things. I do wonder what the economic impact of the evening was for Pasadena food, parking, and hotel businesses. A good night for some businesses, no doubt.
  
• The choir: When we sang along, it was impressive and moving to me. I will not soon forget that sound -- a good choir, really. There was a sense of unity...all sorts of people, with one voice. It was powerful to me. There is a sense of love and peace in that setting that gives hope for the world, though it is a fleeting feeling in reality. How does music pull people together like that? Amazing.
• The crew: Wow! I was fascinated by all the people involved in the production, especially now that I help a little with production of services at my church. I am amazed at all the people doing things well does take. They even lowered lights from the top of "the claw" to the stage before U2 and strapped in 3 people to operate the big lights, then hoisted the equipment back up probably 70 feet or so. Yikes! There were four sets of three people doing that. Amazing.
  
• The technology: The guy from Hawaii, mentioned earlier, took our picture for us -- our camera had broken -- and e-mailed it to us right then and there. The technology of the stage and all the components was stunning. Part of the set-up extended down seven stories, and then collapsed back up. It was also a screen for more visuals. Awesome. In fact, as we walked through the tunnel prior to the concert, and I saw the stage in front of me like a giant spacecraft, I just screamed with excitement. Again, I'd never seen anything like that at a concert, but then I haven't been to a rock concert in years. It was so cool!
  
• Concerts at age 54: Concerts are very physical! I'd forgotten that from the younger years of going to concerts. The walking. The standing. Climbing the steps to our seats -- steep steps at that Rose Bowl! The crunch on the knees -- the rows of seats are too close together, like flying economy. And enduring the lines for the bathroom and pacing when to get in line so as to stay comfortable and also not miss much. And two words. Ear plugs. Bliss.
  
• Bathroom story: while waiting in line for the women's restroom, a small conversation started around me...finding out how far people had traveled to be here and such. So, then I told a woman to enjoy the concert as she walked away. She turned and said, "You, too." I laughed and repeated, "U2," and she realized she'd punned. And we laughed together.
• The genius of the band: They connect intimately with the crowd. They encourage everyone to sing with them. They entertain. They impact through excellence as performers and musicians and through promoting social justice. They don't take themselves too seriously -- there were whimsical parts. And they leverage their popularity through several generations. It was a big deal to be there in person. These guys are bigger than the Beatles. I can't imagine having seen the Beatles. I did get to see U2. I will look back on this day with delight for my lifetime. And this band gave 150% -- they gave us such a great night, encores and all.
  
• Lights: The lighting for the concert, for the stadium, and most of all the lights of cell phones added some amazing features to the night. We were asked twice to hold up our cell phones and almost all stadium lights were turned off. It was like a man-made Milky Way. I loved it! Loved it! So cool.
  
• The Peas: That was fun. Not too familiar with Black Eyed Peas --or so I thought, though I think the female has a most awesome voice. They were awesome! And I was familiar with all the songs they did. Cool!
• Glen: Sharing the evening with Glen was a big deal for me. He is a HUGE U2 fan. HUGE. He'd seen them in 1987. So he is the real deal. To see him enjoy this concert just blessed me. I was so happy he could be there. I was so happy to be with him. So glad we got the chance to go, thanks to a Facebook friend. It is a chance to enjoy each other, play together, and do something we love. Good for the soul of a marriage.
  
• Smoking, drinking: It is somewhere between interesting and annoying to see (and smell -- gross!) to watch what fans like or need to relax and to increase the enjoyment of the evening. Big night for alcohol vendors from what I saw around us. I'd forgotten that sober is not everyone's choice for an evening.
• Spiritual power of music: When music tells a story, when a song feels like a familiar friend, when you are there in person with singers, when you sing with a huge crowd, when you listen to lyrics that move you, it is a spiritual experience at some deep level. Interesting. We felt a part of something bigger than anyone of us. For a few hours.
• Adjective shortage: I used the word awesome way too much in this post. Oh, well. It was awesome!
  

Happy Holidays

I just got a mega-forwarded e-mail thing, and read a version of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" that carried the torch of the "Happy Holidays" vs. "Merry Christmas" debate. Although it is very clever, I did not care for it. I know it is just a fun poem with profound thoughts, but I don’t think this fits “they’ll know we are Christians by our love.” When we demand separation of church and state in some situations, and then cry out to blend church and retail, that gets a bit fuzzy for me.

I know others will be surprised at this response and disagree with me. Ah, the delights and dangers of public discourse.

I have no problem with the “Happy Holidays” thing. I do not view it as an offense. I do not see a connection between retail, Christmas trees, or Winter Breaks, in connection to the celebration of the advent of Christ for me. If a corporate policy is instituted that employees must say "Happy Holidays," that is not mine to fight. I work for a public school and have my cautions when I represent the state of California. I understand that in context. That helps me with perspective on this at the corporate level.

On a personal level, Christmas trees and shopping are a holiday tradition that adds family fun for me — like fireworks on the 4th of July, really. My celebration of the birth of Christ during this time is directly connected to time in worship and praise, Scripture, prayerful gratitude, some symbols, music, shared meals, celebrations with my community of believers, and quiet reflection. The other parts of Christmas that I also truly enjoy are folk traditions that came along through the years as the celebration expanded, and a way to love others, but not how I focus on Christ's birth directly. Easter egg hunts are fun, but that is not worship, in a similar way.

Also, I do not expect that everyone must acknowledge my faith based traditions. I am considerate of colleagues, friends, and those I work with who are Jewish, Jehovah's Witness, Orthodox, Muslim, or others that are not followers of Christ. I respect their journey. I trust the Holy Spirit to draw all people in His time. It is disrespectful for me to greet my dear Jewish friends with a “Merry Christmas.” I will not and I will not require others to do so.

I like to ask others, such as retail people, “What holiday are you celebrating and what are your traditions?” It opens up a conversation that helps me learn about my neighbor and thereby learn to care about them. I don’t expect others to share my beliefs or guess which greeting they should speak to me. I don’t want to invest emotion in the unintended potential offense of some sweet unsuspecting person saying, “Happy Holidays,” only to hear a defensive correction from me. I want to communicate Christ in kindness.

In my opinion, this little poem can subtly create unnecessary division and continue to build borders of pride. When Christians don’t get their way in America during December, I’ll think I'll use it as a reminder to pray for the serious oppression of believers in other nations. And will remember how much is awesome in society around this season. Carols on radio stations like KOST. And Winter Break -- I am grateful to have two weeks off around my faith holiday and holy day. My Jewish co-worker has to work on her holy days. And Thanksgiving! A national holiday to give thanks with family and friends. Rock on!

When we read Scripture, do I see anything that tells me the world will not oppose to the walk of the faithful? So is that a surprise or an expectation?

Last night I heard that the top three perceptions of Christians in America are:

1. Anti-gay
2. Judgmental
3. Hypocrites
   

I think that is heartbreaking. How can I live in a way that pleases Christ and acknowledges the power of the Holy Spirit to wake the dead in every soul? Does “Merry Christmas” really play into that? I don’t know. To me, the Kingdom of God on earth has nothing to do with what happens as described in this poem. The power of God works around, beyond, through, and above all that in my view.

And who is “forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.” It cannot be stopped. The trees would cry out — maybe even Christmas trees! :-) And to name politicians as reindeer? Is that the disrespect of people...the “do unto others” that we wish to model for others? And “inclusive, sensitive, and di-ver-sity” is the Kingdom of God. I cannot mock that.

This is not a hill for me to die on. We, as believers, are here to love, and we have work to do. I will focus on the love that this season invites. I wish to be considerate of those who struggle for lack of love painfully accentuated at this time of year.

So, happy holidays and Merry Christmas!

The Downside of Marrying a Good Man

My friend has a perspective angel. Love that! That angel has been visiting me lately, too.

My husband has had three first interviews in a couple weeks and a second interview for one already. So, being hired is getting closer every day.

It hit me this weekend that we've worked at home together for six years. A day job for him will take him to an office each day, and there will be commute time, too. A routine common to most, and familiar to us.

I have so enjoyed so much time with him, including many random lunches during the work week in our kitchen. One job involves some international travel. He would be so excited about that. So, I'm grieving the loss of the luxury of generous time with him and gearing up for him to be in a job, meaningful work, and free from the financial stress we've experienced, often more stressful for him.

I do recall that I married at 37, so I was a master of living on my own and loved it. So, I'm wrapping my head and heart around reality, and making my plan to be generous with him and seek new and familiar ways to invest my time when he is away that brings a new contentment. We'll need to be intentional with the time together we do have, but isn't that true for all loved ones?!! [He and the dog are playing on the couch right now -- so cute (who's spoiled?? we make him stay on a beach towel! -- Glen that is -- just kidding).]

Oh, the downside of marrying good men!

P.S. Perhaps we can add housecleaning help into the budget. I once saw that as a wealthy indulgence. However, when both work and then clean in spare time, it takes time away from time together. Someone else can clean. No one else can keep your marriage interesting, and that takes time together to relax, talk, and play.

Intentional Boldness to Care

I just shared with a friend that in my current life stage, I am taking small steps to invest boldly in the lives of people available to me, time permiting. For instance, in response to a friend's openness to share a little life along the way with me, I am taking time to take a longer look at what is meaningful to her, as well as practicing good listening in pursuit of understanding. Then when a friend talks about what is meaningful, I'll have a better perspective and perhaps a brighter on-ramp to true community.

I noticed a short while ago how I was chasing people who were not really available to me at this time, though wonderful people. It felt frustrating. Tiring. The thought finally hit me, "Why? Take another look around and see who is near you, and find the value in them. Be intentional and see what God has in store. That's all. It's simple." So, I'm investigating that. It's fun. And freeing. No strings. No promises. Just seeing what's up ahead with others on my path.

I think when Jesus went to Zack's house, he modeled that. The simplicity of being together. Powerful, really. I'll see what God brings to mind as far as how this will look. Jesus invited all the time. Invited people to follow. To be together with him. Not tricky, but in our busy lives without enough margin, it can be missed. I don't want to miss being with others or being with Jesus in others.

Obama Nobel Peace Sur-prize

Included in the crowd of people who are surprised that Obama got a Nobel Peace Prize is President Obama himself. In his comments, he noted that he feels he does not deserve the award, so again, many are together on that -- including Mr. President. In his own words:

"This morning, Michelle and I awoke to some surprising and humbling news. At 6 a.m., we received word that I'd been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009.

To be honest, I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who've been honored by this prize -- men and women who've inspired me and inspired the entire world through their courageous pursuit of peace.

But I also know that throughout history the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honor specific achievement; it's also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes."

I appreciate his candor and perspective. I learned more about the Nobel Peace Prize, as I thought it was just for achievement. I have been thinking deeply lately about how our culture values doing more than being and how that impacts my life, so this seemed another timely lesson for me. I am also learning in new ways how to think deeply about issues and care authentically for people. I am listening to opinions from great people -- friends -- who see things differently from me. I am learning the broader lessons of living in community and loving unconditionally.

I live in the tension between expectations, obligations, and traditions and in the transforming light of grace, mercy, kindness, love, and healthy boundaries. Now there is a delicate dance! And I've never been a very good dancer. I am discovering a bunch of friends who don't mind disagreement because we grant one another dignity. How blessed to be amidst those kind of folks! We pause to take the time to understand the view of one another, and then walk forward on the common ground side by side.

"We can't allow the differences between peoples to define the way that we see one another, and that's why we must pursue a new beginning among people of different faiths and races and religions; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect." - B. Obama

Mutual interest. Mutual respect.

Life & Career Paths

Today, I was reflecting on my varied vocational experiences and perspective, having worked in the business world until I was 35, then doing a career shift to education. I have taught in private Christian school (gr. 4 & 5), public school (middle school), served a long year as an assistant principal, worked on a district project as a consultant, served as a district liaison supporting homeless children, and now serve public charter homeschool families in Los Angeles county (gr.K-12). I headed into education to teach high school social studies, and student-taught Sociology and Econ at a high school in rural Indiana. Some people recommend a point A to point B career path. I prefer the scenic route.

Lessons from My Dogs

I love my dogs. I am so happy to have two. They enrich my life, grow my capacity to look out for someone else, provide good company, listen to me, show unconditional positive regard, lower my blood pressure, release stress, make me laugh, show me sensitivity, and help me live longer. In addition to all that, here are the lessons I've learned and why I admire them and their authentic, honest lives:

10 Lessons My Dogs Taught Me

1. Work hard to get things done.
2. Know how to get what you need.
3. Please the good people.
4. Enjoy praise from good people.
5. Drink enough water.
6. Get enough exercise so you don't cause trouble.
7. Exercise is fun.
8. Get enough rest.
9. Be intentional about hanging out with people you love while you can.
10. Laugh with your tail. Well, maybe 'show it when you are happy' would be more suitable.

Oh, and they don't need to own much to be happy. I like that, too.

The Shower - Traditions of American Women

Let me just confess...I don't like going to showers -- wedding or baby. I usually do not like the games, though I'm a big fan of squishing a chunk of new bubble gum into a baby shape. I'm kind of a champion at that. Sitting around and watching someone open many gifts, passing them around a big circle, and small talk just feels like a waste of time when I could be reading outside at home. And picking out a gift -- that can be tough for me, too. We never seem to have enough money to spend $20 on gifts for these occasions, and $20 is not very generous as things go. That carries its own social pressures. Along with that, there are certain expectations on how to dress, maybe originating from my mother's proper training. Again, we have a very limited budget. I have very basic clothes and functional shoes. No frilly, feminine fun sun dresses and flirty sandals. I often feel slightly out of place. So, for the most part, I'd just prefer to be busy and skip the event.

My own wedding shower was awkward. I didn't like sitting in the central place, while everyone watched me open things and express thanks sincerely a million different ways, hoping --as the wrapping paper came off, hoping that it would truly be something for which I'd feel thankful for getting. It was fun in the end, once the presents part was over. We did not have kids, so I never had to endure a baby shower on my behalf. No regrets.

A few months ago, my perspective shifted. I said yes to attend a baby shower. I didn't really know the pregnant young woman. However, and here is where the shift began, I am friends with the soon-to-be-grandmother and great aunt. I was excited to be in on this life-changing time for my friends. Now my friends are no longer the ones having the babies, but the loved ones of the moms-to-be. It is a treasure to share in these meaningful moments and milestones of life. My perspective has shifted.

So, I went to this shower, not completely convinced it was my ideal way to spend an afternoon, but this host always throws a great party. I did have a good time. The home was crowded with all kinds of women. There was no shortage of conversation, hugs, and smiles.

Here are some highlights that were enjoyable to me:

1. The power of traditions of women: With a bachelor's degree and a heart for sociology, I still relate to life from a sociological view. I enjoy observing people interacting in groups. We live in a fast-paced culture and have lost much of the values of living in small communities or tribes. A "shower" marks a milestone for the tribe, the community -- the multiple generations of women connected to the soon-to-arrive child. That impresses me and is touching. I watched several age layers of women interact and share stories and good wishes. An afternoon of generational generosity. A pause in busy lives to connect, and love, and pass along wisdom. Powerful. Rare.
   
2. Women of history honored: The mom-to-be is expecting a girl. So, at each place setting, there was a brief bio of famous women in history with a photo of the woman. This tribute was printed on vellum and attached to colorful card stock with a gingham ribbon. Classy. I enjoyed reading about women in history who accomplished things that made life better. It lifted my thoughts and reminded me to encourage women to live lives of meaningful contribution. [No female entertainers were represented.]
3. The mixer game: We were handed a piece of paper with random statements, each statement was true for someone in attendance. We walked around to discover who matched what statement, and that process triggered great little conversations. I had the chance to have a conversation with women who bring value because of what they know and their life's experiences. I want to seek out more of the stories of oldest generation next time I'm in a situation like this. I met some awesome women.
4. Sharing the wisdom of women: We each got a white note card. We were invited to write out some wisdom and encouragement for the new mom. I've never been a mom, but that made no difference. I was a child and remember things my mom did that were meaningful. I have been a teacher for many children and know things that encourage security and value of learning. I am always learning lessons on caring for others, even if not as a mom. For instance, cleaning can wait -- time with loved ones does not. Also, read together frequently, if not every night at bedtime, and let your child see you reading, too.
   
5. All the tiny pink stuff: Could it ever get any cuter? All those tiny little pink things for the new baby girl soon to join the world. Pink is one of my favorite colors. This was pink heaven.
   
6. All the tools: How in the world did anyone in my generation survived childhood? No car seats. Being bathed in the sink. Our moms got by without the gadgets, tools, specialty items, and gimmicks. And consumed a lot less. I was struck at the volume of consumer products this precious event and raising children has "given birth to," another piece of how our nation's economy is supported by what we consume (and often do not need). Crazy stuff is now for sale to "help" you raise your baby. For instance, one gift was a cup designed to rinse a baby's head designed to prevents water from going in the baby's face. Really? Do you need a tool for this? Enough to spend money on it? And can the less fortunate (economically) raise their children right without owning all this stuff?
   
7. The name tags: Each name tag stated how the person was connected to the mom-to-be. That was interesting and an easy way to know more about others, see how the group connected, and start conversations with strangers.
8. The tablecloths and centerpieces: Each table had a square of fabric in baby prints and designs in the nursery theme the mom had planned. The centerpieces were potted flowers with items (tub toys, little decorative things, etc.) stuck in the pots for a little added design, theme, fun, and sparkle -- the mom could use those items later . The room looked so festive and nice!

I did have fun at the shower. I might go to the next one I'm invited to, also.

Cry If You Want To...

Great song! There are days, or times, or seasons when I could be this kind of friend and let someone...CRY IF YOU WANT TO (By Holly Cole). Here are the lyrics:

Cry if you want
I wont tell you not to
I won’t try to cheer you up
Ill just be here if you want me

It’s no use in keeping a stiff upper lip
You can weep you can sleep you can loosen your grip
You can frown you can drown and go down with the ship
You cry if you want to
Don’t ever apologize venting your pain
Its something to me you don’t need to explain
I don’t need to know why
I don’t think it’s insane
You can cry if you want to

The windows are closed
The neighbors aren’t home
If it’s better with me than to do it alone
Ills draw all the curtains and unplug the phone
You can cry if you want

You can stare at the ceiling and tear at your hair
Swallow your feelings and stager and swear
You could show things and throw things and I wouldn’t care
You can cry if you want to

I won’t make fun of you
I won’t tell any one
I won’t analyze what you do or you should have done
I won’t advise you to go and have fun
You can cry if you want to

Well it’s empty and ugly and terribly sad
I can’t feel what you feel but I no it feel bad
I no that its real and it makes you so mad
You could cry

Cry if you want to I won’t tell you not to
I won’t try and cheer you up
Ill just be here if you want me; to be
Near you

There is a great scene in "Lars and the Real Girl," where church folk serve as simply "sitters." After a tragedy, they come to Lars home day after day and just sit with him. I think that is powerful. No words needed. Just the flesh and blood company of quiet people who care to physically remind someone they are not alone. Must be a huge comfort. If the church had a sitting committee, I'd serve.

Part I: God & Public Schools - A Theological/Philosophical Landmine

What in the world is going on? Who created this confusion and chaos? Any guesses???

There is such division on this topic and the most hostility comes from believers. How winning for Christ can that possibly be???

My background as a person and an educator: I have taught in private Christian schools. I have taught in a public middle school. I work with a public charter school that only offers homeschooling. I have degrees from a private Christian college, a large state university, and a faith-affiliated private university. I have been an assistant principal at a public middle school. I am a follower of Christ, learning to love God and my neighbor as myself. I tend to vote for the Democratic candidate because I often agree with more of the platform positions as stated at the time of the election, though I am a registered "independent" voter. I would say I am politically "liberal," if you know the true definition of the term in political perspective. I also studied the meaning of separation of church and state in graduate school, and feel I have a clear understanding of what the purpose is and how to navigate those waters. And I support it and feel it is for the good of all. It is misunderstood on a daily basis by some, I am learning.

Someone told me last week, an acquaintance with a New Age view of life, looking for a homeschool option, that she has seen all sorts of things on the web for Christians to do to cheat the public charter schools -- get their cake and eat it, too -- take the public funds but still do things in a way that a public school can't endorse?? Is that ethical? There is a fine middle ground, which hopefully, I'll get to later. In the meantime, I have some other things to say. Stay tuned. Right now, I have to get back to work for the public charter school.

As a teaser, here is something I saw on http://www.exploringhomeschooling.com/

"Avoid government homeschooling programs such as "charter schools" and public school independent study programs. These government programs usurp the father’s God-given headship over the family and focus the homeschool on humanist goals and curriculum."

I need more information. This has not been my experience. More later....

College Tension

Things are really changing right now in the world. I've been re-evaluating my views on "College for all." So, I'm processing that and weighing the tension in various perspectives.

As an educator, I am well aware of the statistics on getting a bachelor's degree. Graduates tend to earn a more livable wage over time, are better able to get work that can help sustain support for a family, and moves a person ahead of so many others in competing for a job. And those facts are true no matter what the degree. I also know it is easiest and cheapest to complete a degree as soon as one can. Life adds other responsibilities as time passes that make going to school more complicated.

The college experiences broadens a person. It affords the opportunity to work with a wild variety of other people and ideas, process assignments independently to finish within a time limit, and to think deeply about many things, while giving a person more time to mature and become responsible. If circumstances set-up in such a way that the door to a college degree opens, it is a privilege to walk through that door.

All that said, I do not think God works in ways that make complete sense in the world of human (and American) logic. We are simply called to love God and others. We are equipped with gifts to build the body of Christ. So, I honestly no longer see college as the key to success for all, especially in Kingdom living.

I believe it is good to be careful with our limited resources of time and money, in order to focus on what God has for us today. I wish determining big things like our future, college or not, if so when, and how God wants to use us in the days to come was easier to determine. As a teacher, we are expected to equip kids for college. I no longer think that is the easy answer or the best for every person in God's plan.

Leadership Summit Learning I - "Third Culture"

Thoughts from Dave Gibbons, The Monkey and the Fish

"Third culture is the mindset and will to love, learn, and serve in any culture, even in the midst of pain and discomfort."

"If there's one quality that matters most to the fate of the church in the twenty-first century, it's adaptability."

"The church has an amazing opportunity to become what God is hoping we will become. We need fresh counter intuitive ways of leading-in practice and in philosophy."

"Our task as the church is to be water. To flow. Not crash."

"Our water--our message--remains what it always has been: the love of Jesus. Our forms, our containers can change. Must change. Furthermore, our conflicts shouldn't be about forms."

"Being third culture is about being water to a world that is deeply thirsty when it comes to spirituality and meaning, and is in need of adaptive and contextualized language and forms when talking about God and Christianity."

"The mindset-a passion to be open to new cultures and new ways, and a devotion to see shifts in society and the world at large and to respond exuberantly and artfully --is at the heart of being a third-culture church."

Surviving the Heat - Mind over Matter

It has been in the 90's all week. Not the 1990's. That would be weird. Temperature 90's. Hot. Summer. Expected, though we've had decent weather until now. I am thankful that mornings and evenings are cool. I'm thankful that I'm so cool. Huh?

So, I realized I have a strategy for surviving as the day heats up. Our home does not have air conditioning, so that plays in to my strategy.

15 Tips to Beat the Heat

1. Start out wearing warmer clothes: long pants or jeans, a shirt with sleeves.
2. When it gets too hot mid-afternoon, change into shorts and a sleeveless top to feel relief.
3. I can usually take a shower, and if I rinse my head -- or wash my hair -- ahhhhh! Such coolness as the hair air dries. Thankfully, I don't have to use a blow dryer.
4. I also have a little kid's wading pool. I fill it, put a chair next to it, grab a book and read while I just put my feet in the pool. I don't need a big pool. My feet don't know the difference, and the cooling effect is delightful.
5. Make "sun tea" -- ice tea that brews in the sun. That makes the heat productive and rewards us with a cool drink.
6. Go to the YMCA -- it is air conditioned and I can exercise there -- even swim in the pool! Nice.
   
7. Keep lights off, of course.
8. Enjoy the shade.
9. Go to the coast.
10. Get indoors at a public space: library, restaurant, store, or movie; or take a drive in the air conditioned car!
11. Eat a cold soup such as Summer Borscht, Gazpacho, or Vichyssoise.
12. Eat crispy cool salads.
13. Eat BBQ burgers or hot dogs or anything from the grill; sure -- the grill gets too hot, but if you are hot already, at least it feels like a fun occassion.
14. Get plenty of water to stay hydrated.
15. If outdoors, use an umbrella for shade.
16. Look at pictures of winter and snow.
17. Sing snow songs.
18. Water balloon fights and sprinkler runs.
    

Things to Avoid in Hot Weather

1. Watching my dogs pant. I always tell them it is too warm for pants -- go change; or I tell them it is going to be hot today, they may want to take off their coats. They don't even laugh.
   
2. Baking cookies.
3. Wearing socks and shoes.
4. Sitting in the sun.
5. Going without water.
6. Planning a trip to the dessert.